


I'll bring you poppies

by YKWIW22



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jackson is his bestfriend and manager, Jinyoung writes letters, M/M, Mark is a musician, also, that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 11:29:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17161175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YKWIW22/pseuds/YKWIW22
Summary: Sometimes you're just too late.That doesn't mean the fight is over.





	I'll bring you poppies

**Author's Note:**

> REMEMBER TO CHECK TAGS 
> 
> READ ON YOUR OWN RISK
> 
> Please read author's note after you've finished the story!

_ 2017-09-22  _

 

_ Hello!  _

 

_ I’m not usually the type to write letters but i suddenly felt the urge to so well, i’m writing it now. I just wanted to say that I really love your music, it’s fantastic and has helped me through so many bad situations in my life, so thank you for keeping me alive! Love you <3  _

 

_ Forever your fan, Park Jinyoung.  _

  
  


It wasn’t often Mark received fan mail from guys, he was after all an idol that made high school concepts and other cute concepts that girls were more likely to enjoy. Though he did drop a few songs outside the company whenever he felt like he wasn’t able to write what he really thought. 

 

But obviously he wasn’t able to read through all the fan mail. In the beginning it had been fairly easy since it might’ve just been an occasional letter once a month but after growing bigger, and becoming more comfortable in himself as an rapper and now also singer, his ‘markers’ had grown. 

 

But after spending sleepless nights out of guilt for not being able to read through every heartfelt letter he had asked his bestfriend Jackson to help him.

 

Jackson had after a few weeks finally agreed with a grin to help him because Mark had now promised to buy him meat at least once every week and also pay him a definitely too big amount of money for receiving his help (something he could definitely afford but still). 

 

The first day they had immediately sat up a routine. They would split the mails into halves and then take one half each and that Mark wasn’t able to finish reading Jackson would take over. 

 

It was perfect. 

 

Jackson would also tell him if there was ever any special fan mail, not that not every fan mail wasn’t special, but some fan mails stood out more; and this letter had definitely been one of them. It wasn’t exactly everyday that Jackson told him that he had gotten a letter from a guy, and it really wasn’t every day that said letter had an handmade drawing of a beautiful flower on it. 

 

So quite obviously Mark had read it, smiled, and then put the letter in a small notestan and then he forgot about it. 

  
  


_ 2017-10-11 _

 

_ Hello again!  _

 

_ It’s been a few weeks since I sent you my last letter, I hope it didn’t make you uncomfortable if you read it, I know there can be some controversial things in it and you know, so if it did make you uncomfortable then I’m sorry.  _

 

_ I really enjoyed your latest song as well, it’s one of my favorites so far out of the ones you’ve produced with JYP, otherwise I think my favorite will always be ‘forever’. I still sing the lyrics to it every time I feel down which is becoming more often but it still manages to cheer me up!  _

 

_ But remember to eat! And be healthy! My friend told me you look even thinner than me, not that that would say a lot, but still, remember to eat and sleep! Be healthy! Love you and I’ll look forward to your comeback! _

 

_ Forever your fan, Park Jinyoung _

  
  


Mark read it through once again, biting his lips but still smiling a bit extra when he sees the small lyrics scribbled on the bottom of the page  _ ‘Cause i’ll run next to you to the end of time, I’ll watch you smile while quietly dying on the inside, but laughter fills me up and pulls me away from the grey, and knowing i’m forever mine is enough for me’  _

 

“I think I recognize him, didn’t you get a letter from him a few weeks ago?” Jackson spoke, interrupting Mark’s thoughts. Mark shrugged.

 

“Not sure, why, do you remember him?” 

 

“I think I recognized the drawing, it’s not every day a guy draws a flower on the backside” Jackson quipped and Mark turned the letter around, noticing the grey flower drawn over the entire page. It looked shaded and some lines had been drawn out so it was possibly only made by an eraser and a pencil, but Mark didn’t know a lot about art. 

 

“It’s possible” 

  
  
  
  


_ 2017-10-18 _

 

_ Hello!  _

 

_ It’s only been a week but I couldn't help but write yet another one. This is only my third letter but somehow it’s starting to feel therapeutic so maybe the school counselor had actually been right (can’t admit that to her though).  _

 

_ I kinda started to realize you’re not really reading these letters, I mean, it’s not possible, right? You probably get thousands each day and i’m just one in the bunch. Somehow it makes me feel more secure though, I’m not as scared of being judged anymore.  _

 

_ But I saw you in your latest interview on KBS and you look so thin! You look good obviously, but you should really eat more! And that really says something coming from me, I almost never eat, but we can’t have you fainting during your comeback show next week! _

 

_ Be healthy! _

 

_ Forever your fan, Park Jinyoung  _

  
  


“It’s the same guy as last week?” Jackson asks. 

 

“Yeah” Mark mumbled, already turning the paper around to see the signature flower in it’s gray tones. 

 

“Something wrong?” 

 

“Yea- no. He’s just telling me I look to thin” 

 

Jackson snickers.

 

“You really do look thin, let’s get something to eat, I’m hungry and I want meat” 

 

“Sure” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ 2017-11-29  _

 

_ Hello! _

 

_ Wow, it’s been over a month since my last letter. Not that you would’ve noticed but still. I’ve missed writing to you, or well, whoever ends up with this letter. But I do have an excuse for not doing it, firstly, I couldn’t get ahold of any pencils because apparently pencils are sharp objects that I’m no longer allowed to use. Secondly, once I became allowed to use them again I still wasn’t able to since no one would leave me alone for longer than 5 minutes.  _

 

_ So one month later I finally got the chance to again, not that I have a very long time to write it, only an hour max.   _

 

_ The past month has been harsh, I was at the hospital for some time due to lack of something which made me faint. It’s not like it was the first time I fainted but apparently when other people notice it it suddenly becomes more important.   _

 

_ I really don’t know how I would’ve made it through this past month without your comeback and music, it was like the only light in this dark tunnel. You still look very thin though so you should eat and sleep and rest! You deserve it, you did truly amazing and thank you so much! Love you <33 _

 

_ Forever you fan, Park Jinyoung  _

  
  


Mark couldn’t help but feel a small stone of worry settle in his stomach. He had in some way managed to remember Park Jinyoung, especially because of the signature flower that was once again painted on the backside and he had been worried already before. 

 

He didn’t know how it happened or when it did but he had started to look forward to the fan’s letters, even though only three had been left earlier. Somehow they felt more intimate than the other letters did, maybe it was because Jinyoung seemed to write more to himself than to Mark. 

 

“Thought you would be relieved” Jackson remarked as he watched the older frown at the letter in his hands. Mark couldn’t help but to frown even deeper; he had also believed he would be relieved but somehow the stone had just settled deeper. 

  
  
  
  
  


2017-12-03

 

_ Hello!  _

 

_ I’m finally starting to get some alone time again which made it possible for me to write this letter.  _

 

_ You probably don’t remember but I once wrote that ‘Forever’ would always be my favorite song made by you and well, I think I’ve changed my mind. I suddenly don’t really like the song anymore, maybe it’s because of how hopeful it is. Maybe it’s because it’s naive, it’s naive to think that you alone are enough to satisfy yourself.  _

 

_ But you’re probably wondering what my new favorite song is; it’s ‘Until time changes’. I feel like that song is more realistic. ‘hoping for angels to see me, walking down these dead streets, feed me, heal me, hold me, promise this ain’t life, hoping time flies, been tryna cut it with a knife, but we’re talking different times, hoping everything changes.’ it just feels more promising I guess, that even though it might not be this lifetime, at least I might be happy someday?  _

 

_ As always, eat, stay healthy and rest!  _

 

_ Forever your fan, Park Jinyoung.  _

  
  


“Am I allowed to contact fans?” Jackson looked over from where he was lying on the sofa reading letters. He gave him a questioning stare before shifting to sit up. 

 

“You have meet and greets, not sure if you can do more than that, why?” 

 

“I’m just worried” Mark bit his lips. 

 

“About Jinyoung?” Jackson questions after a second, staring at the flower. Mark nods, turning the blade to look at the drawing once again, the lines had started to become more and more shaky and haphazardly draw together. 

 

He sighed. 

 

“Yeah, I don’t know, but he’s a fan y’know, and i have the right to be worried about a fan, right?” 

 

“I’ll look into it but don’t worry too much, he’s probably fine.”

 

_ 2017-12-23 _

 

_ Hello _

 

_ It’s soon christmas, i hope you’ll be spending it resting and with people you love and whom also love you. Also, remember to eat and rest well! _

 

_ I’m really looking forward to your christmas song, it’ll be dropping around the time this letter reaches you, but from the small teaser I really like it. The beat is good and calming and I don’t know the lyrics yet but they’ll probably make every girl and guy fall in love with you.  _

 

_ I’ll be spending christmas with my family even though i’d rather not. Ever since the hospital incident I can see them watching me all the time like i’m some ticking time bomb just seconds from exploding.  _

 

_ And there will be so much food there as well. I don’t like food anymore, it makes me feel disgusting and I’m not allowed to go to the bathroom right after i’ve eaten either.  _

 

_ But I hope your christmas will be better than mine, love you <3 _

 

_ Merry christmas, forever your fan, Park Jinyoung _

  
  


“Did you manage to find out anything about taking contact with fans?” Mark asks as he turns the letter around to stare at the flower, a heavy feeling settling in his stomach. 

 

Jackson gives him a pitying look from the couch. “It’s possible, but the company wouldn’t like it, and even if you did reach out to him, what do you think it’ll achieve?” 

 

Mark shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe just give him an signal I’m hearing him or something. Maybe give him inspiration or just try to make him feel better, just anything” 

 

“Maybe you should stop reading the messages, don’t get to involved. Many people have bad experiences but you can’t help them all.”

 

“I know” Mark sighs, putting the letter down in a box he had putten all the other ones in. “But I can help him, isn’t that good enough?” There’s a hint of desperation as he asks it. 

 

“I’ll look into it again, but don’t do something drastic, promise?” 

 

“Promise. Just try again”   
  


 

_ 2017-31-12  _

 

_ Hello!  _

 

_ Or Happy New Years is maybe what I should be saying.  _

 

_ I saw your concert, not live but on youtube and it was so good! You really were amazing! And you sang ‘Until time changes” which you never sing, you’ve only done it once before so I was shocked, but happy! _

 

_ I hope the new year will bring you more love and more recognition, you really do deserve it! And I was right about the christmas song, it really did make all the fangirls and boys melt! And I know you don’t like doing aegyo but it really does make everyone’s day brighter! Your smile tops that though.  _

 

_ I really hope you aren’t reading these letters. Or I don’t know. It’s weird, i’m conflicted about it. If you are reading these letters then I also want to say sorry for putting a burden on you even though knowing there’s nothing you can do, but I also want to say thank you, thank you for reading these letters. _

 

_ Happy new year, forever your fan, Park Jinyoung  _

  
  


“The company won’t allow you to reach out to him, but maybe you could hint it, right? I don’t know how but you care about him, don’t you?” Jackson’s gaze says that he knows, he knows exactly what Mark is thinking right now because Jackson is Mark’s bestfriend. He has seen the older do reckless things when he’s worried before but he can’t do that any longer, he’s an idol now, he has an image to keep.

 

Mark traces the lines of the flower with his thumb. 

 

“Of course I do, I care about all my fans” He answers, avoiding the full truth but Jackson still knows. 

 

“You want to help him, right? You want to help everyone who is feeling bad and going through something so maybe it’s time you dedicate something to that” Mark looks up to Jackson. 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“You’ve written songs about mental issues before, maybe it’s time to write an album about it” 

 

“The company wouldn’t allow it, you know they haven’t allowed it before, why would they now?” 

 

There’s a glint in Jackson’s eyes as he answers. 

 

“Has that ever stopped you before?” 

  
  
  


_ 2018-01-14 _

 

_ Hello! _

 

_ I hope you’re resting well, I miss hearing new songs made by you but I’m glad you’re finally getting some rest, we all need to rest sometimes.  _

 

_ I’m tired, school will be starting in just a few days and I don’t wanna go. I’m scared of it. Everything just feels suffocating, I feel suffocated when I sit with strangers on the bus, I feel suffocated when I’m walking next to my friends and feel suffocated when I’m with my family.  _

 

_ I feel suffocated all the time except when I’m writing this. This is the only peace of mind I get because at least here I don’t have to lie. At least here I can be completely truthful.  _

 

_ I hope you’re eating well, and that your next comeback will be even better than the last (even though that might not be possible). Love you <3 _

 

_ Forever your fan, Park Jinyoung  _

  
  


“The company agreed to it” Jackson couldn’t hide the disbelief when he announced it. Mark felt his mouth drop open. 

 

“Really?” 

 

Jackson nodded. 

 

“But I’m not sure how explicit you can get, and they’re also afraid that it’ll seem like a rip off of BTS’ last album, so you’re gonna have to find your very own individual charm that can divide you from them, so you don’t just become yet another copy.” He then continued to explain and Mark nodded, his brain already racing towards all the different directions he can take the new album. 

 

“Their album was about loving yourself, right? And they sang about how we use cheap things to create a temporary happiness and they also sang about how they’re a family in their veins even though they don’t have the same blood?” Jackson nodded along, trying to keep up with the fast way the idol was talking. “What if I do the same?”- 

 

-”I just told you the company wouldn’t allow it-” Jackson cut him off but Mark shook his head. 

 

“-No, I can do it, i’ll change up the beats and completely new lyrics, and I’ll call Namjoon, maybe we can collaborate and I’ll also announce that I was inspired by them, which is all true. I’ll just have to make sure everyone knows that they were the first, or not the first, but the ones who broke the line and that I want to continue it breaking it” 

 

“This seems like a bad idea” 

 

“No, I just, I can’t explain. But it’s not a rip off. Loving yourself, enjoying being yourself isn’t just a topic you can sing about once, everyone has to continue doing it. We have to talk about it.” 

 

“If you say so” 

  
  
  
  


_ 2018-02-27 _

 

_ Hello! _

 

_ It’s been over a month again. I fainted during class so I’ve been at the hospital again and well, they continued giving me zero amount of privacy and once they started giving me some I was just too tired to actually write. I’ve felt like I couldn’t breath, I’m just so so so tired. I’m tired of breathing. _

 

_ But I saw your announcement about your new album and I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you. I don’t know how to explain it, I don’t know, I’m just proud of you. I truly am.  _

 

_ And the fact that you asked your fans to mail in their stories, and their experiences as an inspiration for you is just amazing. I think this album really will be the best and you will inspire millions of people with it!  _

 

_ And to answer your request; I can’t tell you my entire story but if you’ve read these letters I think you guess some things. But I hope you can express the fact that sometimes there is no reason, there’s no sad story; it’s just life. Everyone’s story is different and I think that rather than accepting the love we think we deserve, we accept the pain we think we deserve.  _

 

_ I’ll be looking forward towards your new album! Love you <3 _

 

_ Forever you fan, Park Jinyoung  _

  
  
  
  


“How’s the timeplan for ‘Me’ going?” Mark questioned with worry as soon as he finished reading the letter.

 

“The release date is set for somewhere in may.” 

 

“I want it earlier.” 

 

Jackson coughed from shock. 

 

“Earlier?!” He shrieked in a light voice. 

 

Mark nodded seriously. 

 

“I’ve already finished the lyrics to 6 songs, I should be able to finish yet another 3 this week and I also already know how I want the album cover to look like.”

 

Jackson looked around in disbelief and possible also anger, like he couldn’t believe what Mark was really thinking. 

 

“What about choreography and clothes and the company has to approve and things don’t work like that!” He yells and Mark just shakes his head. 

 

“No choreography, I want it raw and open. And you know Yugyeom? I’ve already talked to him, he’ll make a choreography for one person, and it’ll also be improvised so it becomes more open. And I talked to a stylist just a few hours ago, we’re deciding on clothes tomorrow. I just want the company’s approval, so set a meeting with them, I want it as soon as possible.” 

 

Jackson rose his eyebrows. “You really think you can handle this? You’re gonna burn yourself out.” 

 

“I know, but I can handle it, I know what i’m doing.” 

  
  
  
  
  


_ 2018-03-9 _

 

_ Hello!  _

 

_ Wow, I can’t believe you’ve already set a date for you new album, and so soon as well! I really hope you’re taking care of yourself! One of the most important things when it comes to teaching others how to take care of yourself is by also taking care of yourself while you’re at it. But anyway, I’m still really looking forward towards it, it’s less than two weeks left until the title track drops but I still feel like it’s so far away! _

 

_ But even though I think you care about this album very much I’m still scared. I’m scared that it’ll be just another heartbreak story, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I just hope there’s more as well.  _

 

_ I really hope i’ll be able to listen to your album, but I feel like time is running out. I feel suffocated and my mind is just a mess, I don’t know how to explain it but your music is my one way to escape, so thank you once again for keeping me alive for as long as you’ve done.  _

 

_ Forever you fan, Park Jinyoung  _

  
  


Mark rereads the last lines over again, feeling frustration grow in him. And he hopes that Jinyoung can somehow hear him,   _ just two weeks more _ he begs like a mantra over and over and over again. 

 

“It’ll be fine, Mark” Jackson reassures him with a sad smile. 

 

“What if it doesn’t? What if I just fuck everything up more?” 

 

“Then that’s that. You tried, Mark, you are trying. That has to be enough.”

 

“Trying isn’t always enough” Mark argues with a sigh as he turns the letter around, watching the flower once again. 

 

Jackson huffs. “I’m more worried he’s gonna sue you in that case”

 

“What?” 

 

“Well, you are using his drawing as your album cover without his permission, I think that’s almost like begging to get sued” 

 

Mark can’t help but to chuckle.

 

“I guess” 

 

“It’s gonna be okay.” 

 

“What if it doesn’t?”

  
  
  
  


_ 2018-03-21 _

 

_ Hello.  _

 

_ When this arrives it’ll be the day before your comeback day and for that I apologize.  _

 

_ But I still wanted to say goodbye, and i’m sorry.   _

 

_ Your music has been my lifeline for years, which sounds stupid but it’s one of the reasons i’m still alive. You’ve given my family 2 more years to get to know me, you’ve given me 2 years to change my mind but I haven’t. So thank you, hyung. Can I call you that? I hope so.  _

 

_ And that is also the exact reason why I can’t listen to your new album, because I know it’ll give me hope again and I don’t want it anymore. I just want everything to stop. I already feel like i’m dead, everything is just numb and I stare at my reflection but I just can’t see myself.  _

 

_ I’m tired of hoping, and that’s why I have to do this now.   _

 

_ I never thought you would notice my letter, I’m still not sure if you did and I guess i’ll never know either.  _

 

_ But I’m done fighting.  _

 

_ You might be wondering about the flower, it’s a poppy flower. It’s a remembrance of soldiers who’ve died in war or conflict. But it also means peace in death, and I think that’s why I chose to draw it. _

 

_ So if you’re reading this then please don’t blame yourself, I don’t know why you would but humans are capable of doing stupid things, just ask me, so please don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault, you’ve done enough, you kept me alive for 2 entire years just through your music and I know you’ve helped others as well. You let my family know me for 2 more years, you let me see the world for just a bit longer.  _

 

_ And just because my fight is over doesn’t mean everyone else’s is. And I know you can inspire even more with your music, make people aware, teach them to perhaps not love themselves, but at least like themselves.  _

 

_ At the bottom of this letter is my number, I thought that if you are indeed reading this that you would at least want closure.  _

 

_ And with these last words I say goodbye, six months after I first said hello.  _

 

_ Please be healthy, eat, rest and keep living. Fighting!  _

 

_ Your fan, Park Jinyoung.  _

 

He doesn’t notice the tears running down his cheeks, he’s to occupied with dialing the 9 digits that are written at the bottom of the page. 

 

But Jackson sees them, and he’s not sure why, but his heart is breaking as well. 

  
  


\-----------------------------------

  
  
  
  


“First of all I want to thank all of you for coming here.” Mark says into the mic, gazing over the crowd that had assembled to watch him perform his new album. He can’t see any specific faces, but he can see hundreds of lights waving at him, and he blinks furiously. 

 

He had promised himself not to cry, but his heart is aching, or at least what’s left of it. 

 

“And second of all I want to thank each and every one of you for still being alive.” The crowd silences and Mark closes his eyes, unable to witness anything. 

 

“Many have asked when I got the idea to this album, and that story is both very simple and very hard to tell. 

 

“I had a fan who sent me their first fan letter the 22 september 2017, and yesterday I learned that that was the fan’s birthday. This fan would send me a letter from then to then, it would variate from once a week to once a month, and he’s been admitted to the hospital twice since he started sending me letters. He told me he had fainted, and that he hadn’t been able to write any letters since he wasn’t allowed to use pencils for a while. 

 

“Anyway, he would in each letter tell me to be healthy and eat, he was very adamant on that point.” Somehow he manages to chuckle, but it’s empty. It feels empty, there’s no real happiness behind it, just a painful reminder. 

 

“A lot of fans sends me letters, but somehow his became special, and he became my inspiration to write this album. This album was supposed to be written for him, to help him through his struggles but yesterday, yesterday he made me realize that this album isn’t just for him. It’s for everyone who’s struggling, it’s for everyone who needs a lifeline right now.

 

“I never answered his letters, which is why he will never know that I had heard him, and I don’t know if i’ll ever forgive myself, but I will try to redeem myself for it, and this album is part of that.” He searches for the letter in his back pocket and pulls it out slowly. He fondly looks at it for a while, analyzing every dent and remembering how different it looked from the very first letter he had gotten. 

 

Jinyoung had gotten better at drawing poppies with time. 

 

He swallows hard before unfolding it and he traces his thumb over the smooth lines of the flower. And he closes his eyes, breathing while sending a small prayer and then he turns it around. 

 

It feels like forever before the camera zooms in on it and gasps are heard throughout the stadium, because that exact flower that is drawn on that letter is the flower that was yesterday announced as the cover of his album. 

 

“On every letter he would draw a poppy, the now cover of my new album. And this is his very last letter which I received yesterday.”He stammers over the words, once again willing himself to not cry. 

 

“He told me that he drew a poppy on every letter because it meant remembrance of soldiers who’ve lost a fight, and also because it meant peace in death. He said he had felt like he was fighting a war, a war he has now lost.

 

“But what he forgot to mention is that poppy flowers also stands for recovery.” Mark couldn’t hear the crowd, everything was just quiet as he draws in a shaky breath and lets himself think of the phone call. 

 

He lets the breath out, steadying himself. 

 

“Two days ago, at 2.43pm, Park Jinyoung, the inspiration for this album, was found dead. Two days _ too early _ . And I dedicate this album to you, hoping that you’ve finally found peace and also praying that no one will choose your way of achieving piece. Your fight is over, Jinyoung, but there’s still a lot of people fighting. And this song is dedicated to everyone  _ still  _ fighting. Here’s to  _ recovery _ .” 

 

And as he leans into the mic, he finally lets the tears fall. 

 

_ “dragging around these demons  _

_ been hoping for somebody to see them  _

_ existing just ain’t enough  _

_ and i know i can’t put you up to trust _

 

_ but look at the stars _

_ they still shine in the dark  _

_ we’ve drawn pictures in our scars  _

_ you’ve been trynna build an ark  _

_ so please, just please, take care,  _

_ save a life, promise yourself a forever  _

_ even if it ain’t right now  _

_ start again, just exist _

_ make yourself smile  _

_ you’ll live someday, just gotta lie  _

_ just smile, it’ll come, gotta try  _

_ know you’ve been asking why, so keep trying  _

_ the light is still to come, i know you’re lying  _

_ the stars will shine, so discover  _

_ it’s the hardest part, please just recover  _

**Author's Note:**

> So, this will possibly turn into an author's note longer than the story itself. I'll get to the point quickly. 
> 
> 1\. This fic is complete bullshit and so fucking romanticized, how I ever thought this was a good plot to have is completely beyond me. This story is one of the most problematic things i've ever written because first of all, an idol won't dedicate an entire album to you, second of all, I really do doubt that they read all the letters and third of all, and most importantly of all, don't ever put this kind of pressure on anyone. 
> 
> Telling an artist that they've helped you a lot is obviously a great thing but idk, don't do whatever was written in this story. 
> 
> 2\. I absolutely have no clue how showbiz work, I am a young, stressed student who simply enjoys writing not particularly good stories. 
> 
> 3\. I was in a bad place when I wrote this about a year ago, and even though I wanted to give them a happy ending I simply just couldn't at the point. I do though promise that if I ever publish another story that it will have a at least a mildly happy ending, and it's mostly because i wrote this quote a while ago that went something like: 
> 
> "I’ve loved and I’ve lost and heard a million songs and read a thousand books  
> and somewhere along the line I read that I should never end a story on a sad note  
> Because not everyone gets a happy ending but everyone can be happy  
> Give yourself the happy ending you never thought you’d get  
> Because happiness is everywhere you might not just see it yet"
> 
> Which is like pure cringe but I'm somehow stuck with it so happiness here we come (Insert plane emoji)
> 
> 4\. Why am I suddenly publishing this? It's because I want to feel like I have accomplished something and also because I am very tired and I'm definitely not thinking straight (not that i've ever been straight). 
> 
> 5\. Merry Christmas or Happy holidays! Hope you somewhat (moderately) enjoyed! Don't forget to leave a comment down below, like and subscribe wohoo!


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